'The door closed when I finally realised the fall had become my new foundation. I could go no lower. I could not dig my way to China or to the core of the earth. I had reached the lowest point of my life and now I had to get the hell out of there and so I needed to create a new life. It was going to be hard and however hard it was to be, it would be harder resisting change and staying where I was because what I was fighting - I could not see and so I surrendered. It did not m